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Many books and guides have been written about the art of love. Meanwhile, what gives you the most pleasure when shooting close-ups is a personal matter for everyone.What does it mean to be good in bed and is it possible to have good sex every time?
1. Daily fatigue
The stress and exhaustion that accompany a person on a daily basis negatively affects his sexual activity. They cause you to quickly lose strength or completely experience an unwillingness to have sex.
The first step to spending an intoxicating, sleepless night is to get some sleep. The duration and quality of sleep are of great importance for the body. It is also worth taking a moment to relax individually or with a partner. This can be jogging, meditation, or going to the movies together. The most important thing is to clear your head of repetitive stressful thoughts, so that you can be here and now in the bedroom.
2. Talk to me
The key to good sex is communication between partners.
If the partners do not experience real satisfaction from sex or one of the partners does not like what the other is doing in the bedroom-you can start a conversation! 60% of couples believe that in order to get true pleasure, you need to instruct your partner in bed in the process.
3. Break the routine
Routine is the silent killer of successful sex. Couples learn certain movements, positions, and touches by unconsciously repeating a fixed repertoire. It's good to know what everyone likes about sex, but the lack of variety eventually turns sex into a mechanical activity. To feel the craving again, couples, especially those with more experience, should consider purchasing new bedroom products. New poses for sex, new techniques and caresses, intimate gels or, perhaps, erotic toys? Today, there is a full range of possibilities.
For experiments, a vibrating nozzle designed to provide both partners with a 20-minute pleasure from vibration may be ideal. Ladies experience an orgasm much less often than men, so before the grand finale, it is worth reaching for something that will help her achieve real pleasure. A few drops of stimulating gel on the clitoris will increase its sensitivity to stimuli and provide multi-sensory sensations, increasing the satisfaction of both partners.
4. Responsibility for pleasure
According to the results of the survey on sexual satisfaction, 84% of men and 78% of women believe that achieving orgasm is important for their partner, and 60% of women and 63% of women men expect their partner to reach orgasm during sex. This approach often generates high or inadequate expectations.
The most important thing is the ability to build realistic expectations about sex, strengthen personal responsibility for your sex life, and focus on expressing sincere feelings and accepting your own body image.
5. It's just sex
A common cause of dissatisfaction with intimacy is a high degree of tension. To truly enjoy sex, you need to get rid of fear, shame, and the need to control everything.
The recipe for a successful sex life is to abandon the perfectionist expectations of every sexual act, from a purposeful approach and focus on the experience and relationship with your partner. It's just sex!
The constant rush affects all aspects of our lives, including the sphere of sex. The Slow sex movement opposes this.
First there was Slow Food-a trend that emerged against the invasion of junk food. It originated as the first branch of the world movement called "Slow Movement", founded in the 1980s in Italy. Over time, new ones were created: slow travel, slow reading, slow learning. And finally - in 1992-Slow Sex. What do these trends have in common? Disagreement with frivolity and haste. For the haste and mediocrity that permeates our relationships, souls and bodies. In the case of slow sex, this is primarily a confrontation with low-quality sex and, in turn, a search for ways to intimacy that really brings people together. Just as Slow Food began to change our attitude to food, it also took care of our attitude to the field of eroticism.
Here and now
One of the main concepts of "Slow movement" is the term "primo gusto", that is, the correct pace. How do I recognize it? If you are sitting with friends, enjoying good food, wine, socializing in the company, then you just found the right pace for this moment. So you can get the most out of the moment. You are an oasis of peace with other people in the midst of a busy and nervous world. The essence of this process is to actively create your life, choose what is best for you, including in sex. You have to find the time and space to find out what you need. Then start doing it consciously, carefully, in contact with your body and other people.
How does slowness translate into the realm of sex? It's not always about making love long and slow. Slow sex is about taking a closer look at things. To forget what is wrong at the moment, what prevents sex. It's like saying, " Slow down and see what's cool, what gives you strength, what works, what you need." So it's all about slowing down to learn new things about yourself and your sexuality. Once you get to know your pace and yourself better, you can really choose when you want to do something fast and when you want to do it slowly. When it is better to spend a quiet evening by candlelight and enjoy sex at a slow sensual pace, and when it is better to have a quick meal on the kitchen table. The most important thing is to enter the realm of conscious pleasure.
Slow sex is inspired by Tantra and its achievements in the field of ars amandi. Since the tantric message is hermetic and difficult to implement for many, the essence of the slow sex movement is to translate it into the realities of the modern world. Thanks to this, lovers focus on simple but important issues - increasing receptivity and awareness, both in everyday life and at the moment of sexual intercourse. They are drawn to rituals and meditations that can be a source of endless inspiration for couples to enrich their intimate lives.
Sex and more
The principles of slow sex can affect different areas of our lives. This principle deepens awareness and contact with the body and thus increases the amount of pleasure experienced every day. This feedback fuels sexuality, but also increases the concentration of pleasure. Sensory sensitivity increases – there is the ability to perceive more information by smell, touch and taste. As with food, you have a choice: whether you want to eat well and healthy, or fast and mindless. Slow sex, viewed as a new way of life, not only helps to change your intimate life, but also brings completely new qualities to your entire existence.
Slow sex is an extremely practical proposition, adapted to the present time, when people don't want to adapt to rigid rules and force them to do things they don't want to do. While Slow Food is quite specific about what is a product and what is not, "slow sex" does not represent a dogma, but rather provides advice and guidance. Its practicality lies in the fact that its greatest emphasis is on the experience of sex, sensuality, and pleasure, rather than on theoretical reasoning about it. This makes it interesting for couples and singles who are tired of sexual monotony, boredom and routine. An
invaluable discovery on the way to quality sex is the awareness of sex and the awareness of the presence and feeling that the other person feels it too.
5 pillars of slow sex
1. Awareness - working on it helps to include beliefs, emotions.
2. Mindfulness-this pillar is aimed at increasing your sensitivity and understanding of what is happening to you at the level of the body and emotions. This allows you to better cope with stress.
3. Body contact-learning to read body signals and body care.
4. Presence-includes various meditation techniques, including scanning the body, working with the breath.
5. Rituals - they bring an element of uniqueness to sex that loses its charm and is devalued if you do not pay proper attention to it.
This topic is very popular among all people who live a sexual life. According to statistics, more than 70% of them somehow thought at least once about one of the following stereotypes, however, such thinking does not particularly affect the essence of a person in bed, but it is still worth considering — is there a barrier with your partner because of such beliefs? Do they restrict the opportunity to diversify their sex life? Perhaps reading this article will help to dispel some stereotypes and change the reader's thoughts. Definitely, this article should be read by people who are shy to speak to their halves about the innermost-preferences in sexual life, its diversity. In any case, such conversations will affect the relationship in bed between two people.
Male initiator
Most women are firmly convinced that absolutely all representatives of the stronger sex should be initiators in bed. This opinion is just a myth that can aggravate sexual relations in a couple. Every man would like his partner to initiate a passionate coitus. Whether it's a massage, flirting, or you can cheat by dropping the thing right in front of the" object of seduction", and then raise it as impressively as possible so that he pays attention. The probability is 100% that these actions are doomed to success!
Long sex = good sex
For a man to complete sexual intercourse quickly is almost a shame, although this is another stereotype that society has instilled. Not all women like long-term sex, even on the contrary-many have enough 15-20 minutes for a feeling of complete satisfaction. It is an undeniable fact that women who love a prolonged act exist, but there are not as many of them as it seems. Do not hesitate to discuss this fact with your loved one, it is possible that a conversation about this topic will strengthen the partner's self-confidence and diversify the sexual relations between the couple.
Quality experience = many sexual partners
Undoubtedly, the number of sexual partners affects the experience in a person's sexual life. However, do not think that those who have had a minimum number of love relationships-do not understand anything about sex. Yes, experience and its quality certainly depends on both, but still, a person himself develops in any path, regardless of the people around him. Thus, for example, even a man who boasts of a huge number of partners, in fact, in comparison with experience, may be on a par with a teenager who has just broken into adult sexual life.
From here we can conclude
Unambiguously, the above-mentioned myths are only historically formed labels on the society of people. Many, in the case of maintaining a different point of view, will still adhere to these stereotypes, so as not to surprise their sexual partner. Do not hesitate when discussing this topic in a relationship, because no matter what direction this conversation goes, the essence of such confessions remains to be liberated in a couple, since sex is an integral part of a successful and long — term relationship. There is no need to hide your preferences and preferences, so as not to scare your partner. He'll accept it anyway, and he'll probably open up about it, too. Moreover, it is possible, even necessary to talk about what does not suit both in sex, definitely this will change the approach in bed in a bilateral manner and affect the couple for the better. The main thing is to present this information not as a claim, but as a certain circumstance-on which the couple is ready to work together. Thus, a positive mood in the sexual relations of men and women is ensured.
Intoxicating moments? If we were bedridden, they would quickly cease to be intoxicating. Because there are places, although less visited by the followers of the sexual extreme — where every guy wants to go crazy. Everyone!
1. Car
Ever since the unsophisticated horror movies of the 1980s exploded the popular consciousness and open-air movie theaters began to gain popularity, cars have suddenly become one of the most erotic places. Every real man, regardless of age, dreams of inviting a partner into his car.
And you don't have to look for a place where no one will find you. It is enough to have a garage — sometimes it is enough. Just remember: if the door is closed, the engine does not work either.
2. Table top
One of the most famous scenes in the history of erotic cinema comes from the cult "Last Tango in Paris". As the director of the film repeatedly repeated in an interview with Bernardo Bertolucci, the relationship between the main characters was a reflection of his hidden desires and fantasies.
And that's what sex in the kitchen is like —it tastes best when it's not planned. Just be careful not to get caught! How uncomfortable it is for lovers, you will learn from the romantic comedy.
3. Shower
Most likely, you have already been there. The shower cabin is, of course, the most visited place for lovers in all countries.
On the other hand, there are conservatives who are just afraid of having sex in the shower! Because it is an enclosed space, and because you can slip, break your head, etc. However, sometimes it is worth fighting the fear, as the sight of naked bodies, silvery with drops of water and soap, can really be very exciting and exciting.
If a woman doesn't share a man's dreams, why not consider a shower date as the perfect foreplay? Well, think for yourself, what can light it more than sensual candles, romantic music and the pleasant smell of soothing gels?
4. Roof
But only when the night is cloudless and the sky is starry. And, of course, if you are sure that it is perfectly safe.
Why is it a popular male fantasy? Because rooftop sex is a challenge to yourself! Well, how much perseverance and natural aphrodisiacs, the gift of persuasion, do you need to lure your partner to the roof and lead to a state in which she does not want to return to the bedroom? You must show what you can do!
But the task can be even more difficult. Example? Find a romantic cottage in a charming, quiet and peaceful location. With a roof that allows you to not be afraid of anything. And give your beloved a surprise. Satisfaction is guaranteed!
5. Washing machine
We still read on Internet forums that the washing machine is a great place for love In movies and TV shows very show erotic scenes on typewriters.
Why is this particular equipment so popular? To be honest, we have no idea. However, there is something of the dirtiest dreams about uninhibited free love. Need to get rid of the routine in a love relationship? Maybe a washing machine will help.
But you also need to be careful with this. One couple who tried to enjoy lovemaking on the washing machine ended up being concerned that the woman wouldn't fall!
6. Gender
Fans of extreme sex will immediately remember another place-the floor. But let me tell you, the floor is hard and cold, a draft is blowing on your neck, and there is nowhere to lean your head, nothing to hide with. However, sometimes you can fall on the carpet. At stake, as always, is animal magnetism and primal desires. And what now seems to be the standard, a global pop culture that has produced tons of productions with lascivious sex scenes.
The staircase is a free variation on the floor. Especially if you come back from a date, burning with excitement, and the bedroom upstairs is so far away.
7. Billiard table
Classic of the genre. Swinging music, empty Jack Daniels bottles scattered here and there, the ubiquitous cigar smoke, and your woman in a blood-red tight dress and high heels. You two are in love rapture on the edge of a huge pool table.
It sounds like a scene from a movie, and in a genre that guys are very interested in. Hence, it is the high place of the pool table in all men's rankings as the perfect place for sex.
However, this option is so troublesome that in their homes and apartments, it is probably very difficult to find a billiard table. The question of price and portability. And creating such an atmosphere in public places can be a real miracle.
8. Elevator
The elevator is also one of the classic options used in many films. But it's hard to say: a movie is a movie; a life is a life. But what the hell is not joking. Just be careful not to overdo it.
9. Sex is everywhere
Sex is a very common fetish
People have always sought an outlet for their sexual desire and cognitive needs, creating erotic situations that would arouse more than ordinary sexual intercourse. Only the nomenclature and the range of occurrence of a particular phenomenon changes.
In Ancient Greece — and in other ancient cultures-sexual orgies in which everyone made love to everyone were woven into the rhythm of not only social but also religious life. The participants of the game brought themselves to ecstasy with the help of wine enriched with hallucinogens, music and dancing. Some loved each other, others preferred to watch.
There was group sex in heterosexual and homosexual couples, one woman had sex with many men, a man with many women, some masturbated, others liked just to watch. No restrictions.
In the retinue, which was formed in honor of Dionysus, the ladies went in men's costumes, which was to emphasize once again that during the sacred orgy there is no difference between the sexes. There were also public caresses during festivals in honor of Demeter, the Greek goddess of fertility. In public sex, people have recreated the act of creation. And the more people and the more passionately you love, the more nature is created. In such a situation, it was almost stupid to refuse, wasn't it?
These old orgies, in addition to their religious and ritual functions, also performed important social tasks — they helped to relieve tension and frustration. Not just sexy ones. They enabled the exchange of genetic material and integrated communities. Today's fashion for sex in public places or under the watchful eyes of friends with a possible exchange of partners, a distant and much less vivid relative of the former orgies. The problem is that at that time there was public consent to this.
Dogging: It's not for everyone
Watchman is a slang word used to describe a situation in which people are making love in more or less public places while others are watching-this is a live pornographic film. Only movies are usually watched alone, and public consent to the orgy is over.
Participants ' reactions can vary greatly. In the 1970s, there was a fashion for group sex and the exchange of partners. Almost everyone wanted to try it, special parties were arranged, and since there was no Internet yet, people shouted through advertising in the press. Well, it quickly turned out that this is definitely not for everyone, regardless of gender. Thousands of people liked it, and they remember it fondly today. But many couples broke up, and psychotherapists had to work.
You also can't be sure of your reaction to public viewing. As with any new erotic situation, you may feel more energized. Or vice versa. It's the same with your partner. Maybe she likes it so much that you'll regret it. Or she will be so disgusted that she will never want to see you in her life again. No one can predict this.
1. Sex strengthens the bond between partners
Studies conducted by scientists around the world show that during sexual intercourse, the pituitary gland secretes large amounts of oxytocin, called the attachment hormone. Therefore, if you do not make love on a regular basis, the level of this hormone in the body begins to fall, cooling the relationship and there is a feeling of loss of intimacy.
2. Sex increases mutual acceptance of partners
The joy of being naked and close to each other helps people accept each other's bodies. This has a positive effect on the feeling of self-confidence, reduces complexes, but also means that partners do not pay much attention to the shortcomings in each other's appearance, and appreciate only the best sides.
3. Sex relaxes and calms
Long successful sexual intercourse, filled with caresses, kisses and hugs, perfectly relaxes and calms, relaxing the muscles and brings the body to a calm state, preparing for sleep. Feeling blissful peace and pleasure in each other's arms, the partners begin to subconsciously associate the moments spent together with such feelings that positively affect the perception of this relationship and encourage them to take care of the existing relationship.
4. Sex is a great joint workout
Instead of making an effort to fight excess weight in the gym, it will be much more pleasant to lock yourself in the bedroom and combine business with pleasure. An hour spent together burns more than 200 calories!
5. Sex fights boredom in relationships
A successful sex life, full of experiments, variety and unexpected ecstasy, will definitely not let you get bored. The word "routine" will not even come to mind if you are happy to realize your fantasies and play erotic games.
6. Sex increases immunity and protects against heart attacks
Regular sexual intercourse strengthens the body, improves metabolism and reduces the risk of a heart attack. It also makes the partners ' bodies less susceptible to diseases, so you can support each other with a partner in a healthy lifestyle and take care of their longevity!
